Busted: Reality Check
There’s a boldness in today’s society that is both audacious and alarming. We’re watching a generation of women who knowingly sign up to be the sideline chick, only to catch feelings, then demand respect, commitment, and even monogamy as if they weren’t fully aware of their role from the jump. When they don’t get what they want, they turn to manipulation, threats and blackmail, trying to force their way into a position they were never chosen for.
It’s not love. It’s not power. It’s delusion.
And what’s worse? It’s evil because at the core of that manipulation is a heart operating from desperation, deceit, and destruction. Some women try to glorify evil as being good which in God’s eye is unacceptable behavior. Choosing to become evil minded because of a decision the woman chose to make deciding to participate in being a man’s side chick knowing he was committed to another woman is very scandalous and heartless. No need to become cold hearted when the person could have chose to avoid getting involved with a taken man. Just as the man could have chose not to cheat. Accept the bed you chose to lay in.
You Knew What It Was
Let’s be honest: many side chicks weren’t tricked, bamboozled, or misled. They knew that man had a woman. They knew they weren’t the only one. Yet they still chose to entertain, indulge and emotionally invest in something that was already off limits. And somehow, they believed they could override the original woman's place in his life by offering him sex, attention or emotional support.
But let me make this plain: just because you were available doesn’t mean you were chosen.
And now you’re mad?
The Entitlement Is Wild
Some of these women start setting expectations:
“He said he was going to leave her…”
“I’ve been there for him more than she has…”
“He tells me he loves me too…”
“I deserve more than being a secret.”
Let me stop you right there.
You don't get main character benefits from a role you auditioned for in secret. You agreed to be the background noise, the commercial break, the hidden tab and now you’re demanding to be the star of the show? That’s not empowerment. That’s entitlement gone wrong..
When the Enemy Is Close: The Betrayal from Within
Sometimes the sideline chick isn’t just some stranger from the outside. Sometimes, it’s someone close a so called friend, family member, colleague or associate who silently studies the woman, watches the relationship, then strategically inserts herself into the man’s life.
She may pretend to be supportive, trustworthy, and loyal to the woman, all while plotting behind the scenes. She positions herself where she can “be there” for him, playing the cool confidante or emotional support, slowly seducing him into blurred boundaries and eventually betrayal.
Once the emotional line is crossed, she makes her move boldly and unapologetically often blackmailing him with the threat of exposure, guilt-tripping him into choosing her or emotionally manipulating him into putting her needs before his woman’s.
That kind of betrayal cuts deeper because it didn’t come from a stranger. It came from someone with access. Someone with proximity. Someone who was trusted.
Let’s be real: that’s not just scandalous—it’s spiritually demonic.
To purposely target a man you know is involved, all while pretending to be cool with his woman? That’s calculated. That’s rooted in jealousy. That’s a soul operating from pure darkness.
And the sad part? These women still expect to be chosen. Still expect to be respected. Still expect a happily ever after built on betrayal.
But understand this: anything gained through manipulation will have to be maintained through manipulation. And anything stolen will never carry God’s blessing.
Manipulation Doesn’t Equal Loyalty
And then it gets darker.
When the truth begins to surface that he’s not leaving his woman, that he never planned to some side chicks shift from delusional to dangerous. They start threatening to expose him. They use text messages, pictures, or receipts to blackmail him into staying. They even start involving their family, threatening to “tell their daddy” or start drama in the name of heartbreak.
Let’s be clear: you can’t weaponize your feelings and call it love.
You knew what it was.
Now you want to flip the script, rewrite the story, and force a man to become something he never was for you?
That’s not heartbreak. That’s manipulation. That’s control. That’s witchcraft disguised as emotional vulnerability.
It Never Ends Well
No matter how many games are played, it always ends the same:
He stays where his heart is.
You’re left bitter, broken, and blaming everyone but yourself.
The exposure backfires.
Your dignity is damaged.
And your soul is further entangled in something God never called you to entertain.
Listen to me clearly: you cannot build a future on the foundation of another woman’s pain and expect peace.
Let’s Call It What It Is
It’s time to stop glamorizing the “other woman” narrative. It’s not cute. It’s not bold. It’s not power. It’s pain. It’s trauma masked as confidence. It’s brokenness wearing makeup and a designer bag. It’s a woman so afraid of being alone, she’ll settle for a fraction of love and call it the whole thing.
God did not create you to be someone’s option, distraction, or dirty little secret. You’re a whole woman, chosen by Heaven, called for purpose, and worthy of love that’s real, respectful and rooted in truth.
But until you believe that you’ll keep chasing roles you were never cast for and playing games that only end in heartbreak.
Scripture for Reflection:
“God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” – 1 Corinthians 14:33
If it starts in confusion, it won’t end in peace. And if you had to manipulate, threaten or sneak to get it you’ll have to keep doing all three to maintain it. That’s not love. That’s bondage.
Final Words:
You don’t have to settle for this. You don’t have to stay stuck in shame or regret. You can choose to let go, repent, heal and walk away with dignity. Your future is not found in someone else's man it's found in God’s plan.
If this spoke to you, don’t sit in silence.
Book a discovery call or coaching session at www.KimberlyVonshay.com
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You too can become a woman who is seen as HER but only when you stop trying to become HER through someone else’s man. He chose who he wanted and him choosing to play with you will never change the fact you are an option he plays with when things are rocky with the one he truly loves.